Bunny Stew!

Dingaling: It just occurred to me at some point we will be the bosses-- I will be the crazy one with kittens or rabbits of baby pandas! 

I Think I'm A Pompous Ass

Dingaling: I was thinking that sometimes I may be too confident or appear so and I really don't know that much and think being humble is a very admirable trait so I need to be more so! 

I'm A Woman, So I Weep ...

Dingaling: Do you think you get more negative feedback then [sic] positive or not? What about your workplace as a whole? [PUB] was saying women especially do not respond well to negative [feedback]. 

Dingaling. Still Not a Gay American.

Dingaling: I had a VERY weird experience at a Black Crows concert-- my first rock concert I think -- the music was cool.
Me: What happened?
Dingaling: You never tell me anything juicy -- you have to share too! Part of the weirdness surrounded a woman hitting on me. 

Dingaling. Not a Gay American.

Dingaling: I am watching Oprah right now with gay ex-governor [of New Jersey]. My first point is that he seems SO stupid!!!! Second, he said he knew he was different when he was 6 and 7 years old because he didn't like girls. But if I recall at 6 and 7 most of us don't like the opposite sex. I told my mom I wanted to marry her or my best girlfriend and if I had any boy children I would send them back! Third, [our boss] had said Oprah was gay and that Stedman was just for show. If that is true this show is even weirder as well as she was like "I can't imagine how you could live all this time like this 

Dr. Phil Has Dingaling On Notice

Dingaling: Remember how I said I couldn't stand Dr Phil? Well I was watching his show briefly today and it was really funny and he was right on, so I can see how on occasion he can be entertaining. It was this guy sleeping with many girls including a 17 year old (he was 35) and he wasn't being honest and he said in his defense he was like the TV bachelor dating around and looking for love. Dr. Phil was like it's ok to date around and look for love but can I give you some advice—be a little more honest to these women and buddy did it ever occur to you that 16/17 year old girls might not be the best bet. 

It's SO Scary!!

Dingaling (apropos of nothing): I was thinking that some people get death threats. That must be scary! 

If You Write About Congress, It's a Miracle

Dingaling: If you write about Congress, that's politics right? 

Officer Dingaling

Dingaling sends me an article called "Woman asks 911 to send 'cutie pie' deputy" about a woman who was arrested because she called 911 and asked that the cops send a deputy she'd just seen to her house because she thought he was hot and was having trouble getting a date.

Me: Haha. Dumbass
Dingaling: Depending on how many emergencies they were having I don’t know if I would have arrested her if I were the guy.

She has sympathy for her because this is totally her future!

Celebs Are Therapeutic!

Dingaling: Did you see [the Kate Hudson-Chris Robinson breakup] coming?
Me: Nope, a little surprising.
Dingaling: I was suprised too! Kind of reassuring that even celebrities struggle with relationships too.

Oh Wise Dingaling

Dingaling: I know me and [female co-worker] are the same age, but I feel 20 years older!

She feels "older" because she thinks the other girl just talks about God and all the boys she's dating and that she is the wise one of the pair. Dingaling later found out that she is two years older than the co-worker, prompting another "I'm so old and will die alone" speech. As a refresher, Dingaling will be 24 in December ...

Guys Love Baby Talk

Dingaling: I re-asked [PUB] about pregnancy, etc. last night because I had been so nervous this past week and it was on my mind and he said he would definitely want me to have an abortion if I was, would not marry me and would not want the child at this point of time if I did. He also basically said he wouldn't want to be in a relationship without sex which would be the other alternative. I started crying and left. Not much fun. Maybe his company's social fake girl can make her moves now.

Trouble In Paradise

Dingaling: Can you explain what the heck is up with men and commitment and how to overcome it?

So apparently [PUB] was up for an out-of-state job, but got rejected. When he realized he'd have to stay in DC and still date Dingaling, he gave her a "I'm not ready for commitment" speech and basically said he does not see a long-term future for them. D'oh. Dingaling apparently responded by telling him she loves him. Awesome! I told her that people don't change and that she should move on. She didn't respond.

Is Yes The Same As No?

Dingaling: Is placing a date on a document that occurred before the actual date the same as pre-dating a document? 

Bitter Is One Word ...

A friend of mine got hired to fill a senior slot at our office, two steps ahead of Dingaling’s current job. Our boss sends out an announcement with his biographical information.

Dingaling: He has only been out of school a few years. Have you met him? I have. Basically he is beautiful (almost like a woman), comes across as VERY full of himself and VERY young [he’s three years older than Dingaling]. Doesn't really seem fair from his bio that he would be a senior writer so young although he is certainly bright and appears to work hard.
Me: Well, he knows his stuff and would be a good addition, I think. He also has a master’s degree.
Dingaling: I am just bitter because [our boss] had said she would promote me by now.

Dingaling started her current job in March but believes that she deserves to be promoted because, as she put it, “I’m not entry level.” If ever there was somebody who embodied what it meant to be “entry level” it was Dingaling. This girl cannot accept that someone might be above her unless they are over 50, have a huge bank account and want to be her husband. I refer you to discussions on the girl who took over her old job, to digs at how I did my job and how inferior she thought another, younger hire was than her.

Ew, That Revolts Me Out!

Dingaling sends me a link to a Washington Post blind date article.

E-mail Subject line: this guy (from description would totally revolt me)

Uh, what? You mean you find this guy revolting? I also don’t know why the parentheses were necessary. To her credit (shocking!) he does sound like a moron ("the anorexic with big boobs thing is hard to turn down") but I imagine she was instead focusing on the financial rewards of dating a "management consultant."

Friday Ramblings ...

Dingaling: Love stories are sooo decieving! i want that man who only thinks I am the beautiful person -- not someone who notices all beautiful women! I totally was convinced-- and partially still am-- that I had this rare connection with [50-year-old she stalked] -- that I don't have with anyone else. btw my friend really like [PUB] and thought he was really cool. I don't know if it is better to tell people I have a boyfriend or not. In some ways if they are the "boyfriend" it means they are committed to you versus a guy I am dating, etc. could be with a lot of women and might not necessary hugely like you. Although also like you I tend to be happier when I am more private. Like I have used the boyfriend word a few times but I haven't really told anyone but a couple of my close friends his name! But right now I am mad at him because I made a joke about whether any beautiful assistants hit on him yesterday and he said their [sic] was a beautiful law intern in the room and of course he noticed.

That Would Make [PUB] Jealous ...

Dingaling: I need to program my phone to ring more.

Most Difficult (Fisher Price) Option

Dingaling: There's this Web site that will teach you how to speak Chinese.
Me: I think I'll go for Spanish before Chinese. Mandarin is apparently the second most difficult language to learn after English.
Dingaling: I don't think I could learn Mandarin or Spanish, though I usually do better with the most difficult [option].

Mixed Up Words Time!

Dingaling said she did a "double turn around" instead of a "double take"

Oh God, Please Do!!

Dingaling: I might try a do-it-at-home chemical peel if it was just as good but maybe risky and still pricey? They had a few at Sephora I think.

This Will Totally Help Your J-Date Chances!

Dingaling: Aren’t Jewish women just known for having big distinctive noses and dark hair?
Me: Um, well they might be known for other things as well ...
Dingaling: Because [PUB] told me I looked Jewish because of my big nose. That kind of hurt my feelings.

Who Am I?

Dingaling: In order to complete DMV transactions I must have proof of Social Security number either thorugh SS card, SS administration verification printout, or letter with photo from court services. What are these and where can I get them?

Three Months Later ...

Me: What's your cell phone number?
Dingaling: I still don't know what it is!